whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
