i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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