Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
