I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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