me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You can't just leave with hair like that
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Randomize
