I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
