I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize