I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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