I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
We have so much sex to catch up on
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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