the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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