She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
