On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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