Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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