did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I am naked and annoyed.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
