Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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