I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
