update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Still dying that you shit outside
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
