We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
we should paint friendship bongs
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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