OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
