You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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