my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
