Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
