I hope mine doesn't look like that
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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