ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
