she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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