why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Randomize
