Me too!
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
