Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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