Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I need moral support for this bender
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
