It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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