What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
