it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
