I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
