just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
