Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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