i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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