This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
