I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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