I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
