im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
