Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
