Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
