everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Walk of Shame today included voting.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
