everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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