Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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