She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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