last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
