You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
