Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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