he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
