you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize