I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
