omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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