Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
