He felt like a one man threesome
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
