your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
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