my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
