you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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