I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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